Short answer: Use who when the word is the subject of a verb (it does the action). Use whom when it is the object of a verb or a preposition (it receives the action).
Quick test: answer the question with he or him. If he fits, use who. If him fits, use whom. Both him and whom end in m.
The he/him trick, step by step
- Rewrite the question as a statement and put he or him where the word belongs.
- If the sentence works with he, use who. If it works with him, use whom.
| Sentence | Test | Answer |
|---|---|---|
| ___ called you yesterday? | He called you. | Who called you yesterday? |
| ___ did you call yesterday? | You called him. | Whom did you call yesterday? |
| The woman ___ lives next door is a nurse. | She lives next door. | The woman who lives next door is a nurse. |
| The woman ___ I met is a nurse. | I met her. | The woman whom I met is a nurse. |
Whom after a preposition
When the word comes right after a preposition (to, with, for, from, about), use whom : To whom should I send the invoice? With whom are you traveling?
In everyday American speech, many people put the preposition at the end and use who: Who are you traveling with? That is common and widely accepted in conversation. In formal writing such as essays, cover letters and legal documents, keep the preposition first and use whom.
The tricky case: words that interrupt
Phrases like I think, she says and we believe can hide the real subject. Remove the phrase and test again.
- He is the candidate who I believe is best qualified. Remove “I believe”: He is best qualified , so who .
- He is the candidate whom I believe the committee will choose. Test: the committee will choose him , so whom .
Whoever and whomever
Use the same test, but look at the job the word does inside its own clause. In Give the prize to whoever deserves it, the clause whoever deserves it is the object of to , but inside the clause whoever is the subject of deserves . So it is whoever.
Common mistakes
- Using whom as a subject to sound formal: Whom is at the door? is wrong. Say Who is at the door?
- Using who after a preposition in formal writing: write for whom, not for who.
- Forgetting that the case depends on the clause, not the sentence: test the clause where the word sits.
Take the who vs. whom quiz
1. ___ left the door open?
2. To ___ should I send the report?
3. ___ did you invite to the party?
4. The manager, ___ I respect greatly, is retiring.
5. She is the person ___ called yesterday.
6. With ___ are you traveling?
7. Which sentence is correct?
8. He ‘s the candidate ___ I believe is best qualified.
9. Give the prize to ___ deserves it.
10. In formal writing, which sentence is correct?
Frequently asked questions
Is it ‘who are you waiting for ‘or’ whom are you waiting for ‘?
In everyday American English, ‘Who are you waiting for?’ is common and accepted. In formal writing, use ‘For whom are you waiting?’
Is whom still used in American English?
Yes, mainly in formal and written English and after prepositions. In casual speech, many Americans use who instead.
How do I remember who vs. whom?
Answer the question with he or him. If he fits, use who. If him fits, use whom. Both him and whom end in m.
